Spite
by InstaJunkie
Summary: Lorna Dane is a mutant at The Xavier Institute. Once an outgoing and social girl. She's now worn down by the darker attitudes of her peers and feeling out of place where she's supposed to belong, and longs for a place where she shouldn't. Rated for lang.
1. Waiting

[ fan fiction! Write me a fan fiction!]  
  
[nooo I cannot! The holiday season is upon me with---]  
  
[::SLAP::]  
  
[::whispers to self:: carols and yuletides and festive foolish shopping]  
  
Lorna rolled her eyes back as her head tilted to the side, weary with boredom. Waiting, waiting, always waiting; with still 45 minutes left. She sat up now, ran her fingers through her loosely curly (natural) green hair. She'd been spinning a toaster oven on its axis for sometime now, through her powers of magnetism. Marvelous, indeed.  
  
Bored again with conventional appliances, she magnetized the toaster over back where she found it; on the floor from another kid's mutant temper tantrum. She found most kids' here to be blasé and immature. So when came the opportunity for this 15 year-old girl to vay-cay the mansion, she took it.  
  
And another thing to add upon irritation of this Mistress of Magnetism, was a growing itch on her ankle, thus from her shins down was tightly nestled in her leather boot.  
  
"Arggg!!" she kicked the counter, hoping the jarring movement of her leg would satisfy the itch's craving to be scratched, but there was no avail. Bending over while wiggling and rubbing her ankle region of the boot was not a safe and balanced activity to do upon a high stool. In that, Lorna fell off in the clumsiest fashion. Take this, to not be a good day. 


	2. The Walking Metal Detector

Fustrated, Lorna curled up her knees and unhinged her boot in a vigorous manor. And scratched her ankle with her short but hard nails. In the midst of that, her head sprang up sensing something in the near distance. She could do this by sensing metal around her, much like a walking metal detector she was. Things like belts or keys that the common person held on them, she could detect those people near here, and sometimes if she even tried hard enough, sense the microscopic metallic minerals in a person's blood.  
  
A soft laugh was heard in addition. She turned her body and arched her eye- brows.  
  
"What?" she said sharply, staring at Bobby Drake also known as Iceman.  
  
"You" he said, amused with a smile.  
  
She was half relieved, it was just Bobby, and he was too much of simpleton to really bother Lorna like some other students here. "Don't pull that shit, you'll get me thinking your someone else." She warned him, but not harshly.  
  
"It's funny how one person, can set you off to such an extreme" he said, stepping out the shadow, to the counter which he leaned on.  
  
"One bitch, can set me off to such an extreme" she corrected him.  
  
"I take it ignoring her is out the question"  
  
"No, you don't get it. I mean, she's the worst, but there's other things' about the kids here that."she couldn't put it to words what she was thinking. Inhaling "Just don't blend with me" she finally got that out. "I'm sorry I'm not moody and morose like everyone else." She mocked, shaking her head to add that drama like flair.  
  
"Tabitha Smith is hardly morose, moody yes, but not morose."  
  
"I was talking about a majority," she corrected him again, " Tabs is bratty and vicious, and selfish, and rude-" she began to trail off.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm aware." It got silent.  
  
Lorna leaned forward to the counter, resting her elbow on it, and then her fell into her hand and she scrunched her hair. Thinking about how maybe she was a defective for not fitting in with the kids here, when it's a school for mutants and it should be like a second home, when it was far from it, and she tried. Oh she tried, but kept failing. And Lorna was left with little direction and ambition. Except to escape, but it'd disappoint her aunt and uncle too much. They view the school not only good for her socially (although, she never had much a social problem prior) but academically prestigious and good for her. She couldn't drop and disappoint those who'd taken her in, when her parents had died. And that in itself was an unspoken curiosity in the back of her mind, but never having the guts to bring it up to anyone.  
  
In the silence, and in her thoughts, Bobby slid over closer to her, while her head was down facing the counter. He tilted his head to look at her. She noticed without moving her eyes, playing oblivious. Unsure of his feelings toward her, what possessed him to talk to her so frequently? He had his girlfriend, Rogue, and she wasn't bad at all. She was pretty, nice, and most people weren't repelled by her. She had the admiration without even trying. But Lorna hid her envy well, Rogue was undeserving of her or anyone else's despisal and didn't understand why she couldn't be that accepted.  
  
BEEP, BEEP! 


	3. Imprisonment of the Eyes

And that was the calling of her ride. Her cousin attended Columbia, so the commute to upstate New York to get Lorna from her boarding school was convenient. So Lorna would spend a few days in the city abode, with her cousin, Dana and friends. A few, mostly the guys, were shady. They'd be fake, and overly nice but slip in a prejudicial remark about her appearance every now and then. Assuming she has green pubic hair isn't as funny as they die laughing over it. Most of them were cool, and loved her outlandish humor, and blunt honesty. Many were, literally, starving artists or musicians, and what they could do to improve upon a general liking of their work was appreciated. Lorna didn't see them to be trashy, as was the general perspective, Dana hung out with those lesser than her, mainly to make her feel her superiority. That's the difference between Lorna and Dana.  
  
Lorna rose up, and stretched her arms, widened her eyes at bobby and exhaled a smile.  
  
"That'll be for me" she said, a walked around him to gather up her things.  
  
"Can help you with that?" he asked almost timidly, for he knew the probable answer.  
  
Lorna suited her baggage straps around her and gained balance. She was a 'do-it-yourself' kind of girl. "Nah I got it"  
  
He followed her to the door, and opened it before she could, she gave him a look for that and he only grinned back. No hug, no good-bye, Bobby stood in the door and she pranced to the car, waving at its driver and passengers. Bobby's smile had soon faded in watching this, she had a life outside the mansion, that was good for her. But he also liked being her sole friend. Regardless of how little they had in common, he was a good listener and persistent in keeping in contact with her. He stood up for her when necessary, but never pushed the idea of really how cool of a person she was to other people, fearing he would lose the solitude of their friendship.  
  
* * *  
  
Will, Dana's boyfriend, being the dare devil he thought was, revved up the engine and sped off, cutting corners like butter, although he did run up a few curbs and over the double yellow on more than one occasion, the energy was still the air. Lorna had missed that. Wasn't much excitement in her exclusion from her mutant peers. Except the danger room, which she did a number on quite frequently, and was proud that her power was at more optimum level than her peers. Her power got her into this mess, it might as well not being something fragile or puny.  
  
"The wee little leprechaun is quiet this time." Dana said, catching Lorna staring out the window.  
  
"She isn't so little anymore, I think you sprang up an inch or so." Tracey said, who sat beside Lorna, playing with Lorna's hair, as she normally did. Lorna didn't mind as long as Tracey didn't get too touchy-feely, she was wary that Tracey was a very open bi-sexual, and Lorna didn't roll that way regardless of how Tracey said she would, one day. But Tracey just wants to love everyone, in a, uh, special way. I guess that would make her a slut, but a nice one.  
  
That weekend went by like blur. Dana had errands that kept her out most of the day, so Lorna had time to herself, to wander the city alone. Carrying her camera with her, observing people; their interactions, relations, and even a few locals fighting over groceries. Back at the apartment all there was, was cigarettes, beer, and music. Records and CD's mostly, but stacks and stacks of them. Opening up a Luke-warm Corona she listened to The Doors. Thinking about the general perspective of her life and what she could do about her circumstances, and in all that thought no answer was clear. Where did she belong? Not amongst the humans, she was a mutant, but around mutants she felt estranged. Trying to track down her thoughts and the moment she was in. She began to write: iThe room dims and I can feel the light fleeting from me. The liquid stings the mouth I hold it in. And I cannot swallow as I would of. I'm not the same as I once was, and there is no going back. I've given up on the search for a way to rewind. And I can only hope to fast forward through all that's going to hurt.i  
  
Re-reading this, she did, over and over, striking the chords of emotions in her. Completing the paper with a single tear that escaped the imprisonment of her eyes. 


	4. SubConscious

* * *  
  
A bit sullen and sedated upon her return, she walks through the mansion, on her way to elevator the dorm rooms observing minor things around her. Door knobs, candle sticks, metal trims along mirrors and frames. As she walks with a heaviness to her feet, her mind numb from all the thoughts and uncertainty, nearly slipping out of consciousness and a mirror behind her fell with more force than it could of done by itself, thus shattering in more pieces than it would. Startled, she jumps, and turns with the slightest brush of her feet to the crackle of crushing shards of mirror. Her mouth hung open, then she bit her lip in distress. 'To flee or not flee, to flee or not flee?' raced through her head and the rapid pulse of her heartbeat. Torn between the minimal time it would take for someone to arrive and see what she'd done. But it wasn't really her. It was, her sub- conscious.  
  
Without further thought, Lorna took off down the hall, turning at the nearest corridor she could find, and to her luck it was desolate. The path to the pool and the courtyard/garden areas, was mainly uninhabited on a Sunday night, usually people were in the library finishing homework put off until now.  
  
Footsteps, she heard. And darted her head around. And gave the person a 'what are you doing here?' look.  
  
"What's got you so wound up" this girl strolled on, unaffected by the narrowed eyes of Lorna. A pyro kinetic ball grew in her hands. And that would be Tabs, and those were her mini-bombs she was famous for tossing around like pennies to wishing well, earning her the nickname 'Boom-Boom'. Didn't want to let herself make the first offensive move. She wanted to avoid any kind of warfare with Tabs who held no restraint, consideration, and basically Lorna saw her with her head stuck up her ass.  
  
"What's it to you? Like you or everyone else gives a damn!" Lorna spat words at Tabs, who was a bit taken back, expecting more of a personal insult she had grown fond of fueling herself with. Lorna would at times release her anger through her powers. A doorknob flew right out of its socket speeding at Tabs' hand that held her mini-bomb, hitting it so fast the bomb dropped and minorly exploded and Tabs' right hand was sore and bruised.  
  
"Some one ought to have heard that." Lorna looked off into the direction of the garden she sought to go. "Not sticking around for another round of punishment due to the likes of you, AGAIN" She made off to the garden, and took a seat in a secluded area of shrubbery, hoping not to be seen by any passer bys, and not that anyone would be around. The darkness of night gave her extra cover. She heard walking and rustling in the way she had just came.  
  
"Hey don't run so fast." Tabs complained.  
  
"Get the hell away from me!" Lorna exclaimed in a strained whisper.  
  
"Shut Up!" Tabs returned the same strained whisper.  
  
"No! You shut the fuck up!" Lorna was getting beyond pissed.  
  
"I said it first!" Tabs twirled her wrist around; a pyro kinectic ball grew from her palm to the tip of her pointer finger, pointing at Lorna's throat. With that direct threat Tabs expression grew smug, feeling she had an advantage. That didn't settle well with Lorna.  
  
So there they were. Hiding behind a few bushes in a dark garden (technically and out door walkway).  
  
"Put that away, it's bright." Lorna feeling exhausted with frustration. She pushed Tabs' threatening arm that held a mini-bomb, away from her own direction.  
  
Lorna was going to try a new tactic, a non-defensive psychological state of mind she play out. She knew Tabs thrived on being provoked, and if Lorna didn't give her anything to work with, Tabs' act would fall flat, possibly be bored and go away.  
  
Silence was present while Tabs got comfortable and Lorna tried to ignore her but staring off acting like her mind was preoccupied with something else when really it was about making Tabs get lost. Tabs held her right hand, the hand Lorna badgered with a doorknob.  
  
"Ah Fuck." Tabs said in a whisper, inhaling slickly to signify pain.  
  
No response from Lorna, no look over, nothing. Juts her eyes fixated on that nothing. She was waiting for the coast to be clear, that light in Cyclops room to go out. He was quite a stickler to the rules, and Lorna preferred not to run into him. Curled up, she rested her head on her knees, and a hollow feeling swarmed over her, the purest form of untainted sadness. 


	5. Dysfunctional Youth

"So, you and the Iceman are like fucking on regular basis now right?" Tabs taunted.  
  
Lorna lifted her head up slowly, seriously irritated. What the hell was Tabs' problem? She snarled at Tabs.  
  
"Ain't it obvious? Oh, are you to just really good friends." Tabs chuckled.  
  
With the same irritation, "Isn't IT obvious!" she mocked Tabs, "That he, has a Girl-Friend!" Lorna continued and sounded 'girlfriend' out with angry pizzazz, "And so what, if we are friends!" Her voice was raised, but she wasn't done. "Friendship is concept you don't understand." her voice returned to normalcy.  
  
Hit Tabs real hard, that remark did. "Certainly not when friends only use you."  
  
"Not everyone's like that" Lorna's face was still hard looking.  
  
"Yes." Tabs inhaled, "yes they are, some people are better at hiding it than others" there was a pause. Tabs spoke again, "It's not like your miss popularity of mutant high" Lorna faced drooped and her eyes rolled back. She didn't want to be reminded of how she didn't fit in here. "Oh, you really want those fucks to like, you?" Tabs came off offensive, Lorna returned to her irritation. "I mean if they don't, well that's there problem." Tabs looked away, for once she actually said a nice thing and didn't want to relish in any of it.  
  
"You think?" Lorna gave Tabs some consideration.  
  
"That and maybe your approach was to eager for people to believe, I think the overall opinion of you is...fake" Tabs nodded in her scurrilous honesty.  
  
Lorna's heart sank, her face held disbelief. Her, fake, is that even possible?  
  
"Oh don't be so broken hearted over it. I'm no one's favorite either." Tabs coincided.  
  
"Yea, but that's for a valid reason." Lorna said under her breath.  
  
In that Lorna glanced over to where the light was, and to her luck it was out. She sprang up and dusted her self off. She wasn't thinking of any words to say in her departure, so she just began to walk away.  
  
Tabs still sat not sure whether to follow or stay and acted like she knew what she was doing, like she always has a hidden agenda, when really she just goes with flow. So Lorna kept walking, and Tabs kept sitting. 


	6. Renewed Anti Faith

Lorna was a little off schedule the next morning. Usually she'd get down to the dining hall for breakfast before everyone else, get some food and get out of being alone amongst people, for that was the worst part of loneliness. Arriving down there, being in line, a few stares and fixated eyes directed to hurt. She thought it would horrible, but being invisible was convenient. No one to talk to or social duties, just a lacking that had beaten her down, and now she lay in the middle of emotions.  
  
Sitting at a table not near anyone, she ate cereal and flipped through a magazine, this very well could be the day she stopped trying. Not a damn effort, not one all day, to talk to someone or anyone, she thought. Before she even noticed, Bobby pulled up a chair next to her, having nothing but his few books he leaned over to talk to her. She looked up in mild surprise.  
  
"When'd you get back?" he asked, pleased to find her here.  
  
"Uh, yesterday." She said plainly, chewing her cereal. Holding back thoughts of how messed up yesterday really was, in fact, that entire weekend. "Really? I didn't see you, Rogue said you didn't get back to the dorm till like 10." Lorna began to notice his interest in her life, but didn't read too much into it.  
  
"Yea, I got in a little late." Vague she was, not wanting to talk about Tabs. She starred down immensely at her bowl and stirred it with a spoon in clear dismissal of that topic.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Bobby gave her a look.  
  
"I.." she began, and looked up with a hesitant inhale and exhale, "was in the garden. I just wanted to be away." She looked away.  
  
"Away? You just left for the weekend?" he chuckled a bit, not understanding, but Bobby rarely does.  
  
"It wasn't like it always is. Sometimes it's lonely and sometimes its free, and then the rest it's like a party." She winced a smile, opening up for his better understanding.  
  
"Yo Popsicle!! C'mon!" a crew of his friends called him from the other side of the dining hall. Lorna saw them out of the corner of her eye. Jubilee was cracking Rogue up, and Kitty and Rahne were there, all four in a little social huddle next to the boys. It was the girls who hated her the most (minus Rogue), but they were so immature (minus Rogue again) that she didn't care to waste time with them. And others like Sarah, who had extreme skeletal growth issues and had outcasted her own self even hated her, for nothing. Guys tended to ignore Lorna and if attention were paid they would pay for it with a verbal lashing, usually from Kitty or Rahne. Lorna wasn't afraid of shits' like them, and she began to see the envy, but it didn't change the fact that she felt lonely. But now, she wasn't going to try. She would carry on, and find away. But had doubts, but this was Lorna and insecurities didn't consume her like they did her peers.  
  
Bobby gave her a sympathetic smile, looked in his friends' direction, turned back to Lorna and brushed his hand over hers. He got up and went to them. Lorna had watched his eyes the whole time, and thought was brewing in her mind. Why did look at them and back to her? Like he was checking for something. Perhaps checking to see if someone wasn't looking. Whatever, she thought. And for once when Bobby went away from her, she didn't feel so sad or alone. When he came to sit by her, when he was sitting with her, and when he was leaving and gone was one in the same feeling.  
  
* * *  
  
A Danger Room run-down time it was for Lorna. Which was good, because she had a lot to vent out, and it was something she felt she surpassed those her age in, power and control. Even when the odds are against her, she doesn't get distracted and dodges her way out. This week the group was: Lorna (duh), Alex (Havok), Bobby (Iceman), Jubilee, Rahne (Wolfsbane), and Sam (Cannonball). And this week's instructor was the rather temper mental Logan (Wolverine). Lined up they were, in the prep room, awaiting instruction, all the students talked except for Lorna, she starred at ground while there words became fainter and fainter. Bobby who was few students down from Lorna, stepped out of line and leaned down a bit to look at her. Intent with staring Lorna's eyes looked up and met his. No expression was on her face, just an icy stare and Bobby's face held question to that.  
  
"Back in line, kid." Logan snarled as he entered the training facility, late again.  
  
Bobby returned to his place in line. Lorna was starring at the ground again. Not paying attention to Logan's instructions, for they couldn't be any different then ones of previous weeks. Bobby would glance over from time to time, biting his lip with concern for her.  
  
"Partners. Havok and Wolfsbane; Jubilee and Iceman; Polaris and Cannonball." Logan spoke, this time Lorna was listening, and wasn't looking forward to what shit she'd be paired up with again. She hoped for Bobby, but hopes didn't go very far with her. Then she noticed Logan called her by 'Polaris'. She felt comforted by that, it was nickname back home where she felt she belonged. 'Polaris, the guiding star'  
  
Into a small hallway, she trailed behind the other students, who were souped to use their powers. 'Feeling like they have some importance in life' Lorna's thoughts mocked their socialization and excitement. Being the last to exit the hall into the actual battle room. Logan pressed the button harshly for it wouldn't close the metal door. Logan gave her look for assistance and as she closed her hand so the door did follow. The students quieted in watching that. Only Bobby smiled and Logan proceeded to a control panel. 


	7. The After Breakfast Payback

"AHHHHHHHH!!" shrieked Sam as the remains of robotic auto gun mildly constricted around him and held him about 12 feet above the ground. His shrieks were exaggerated, for he was more in pain of being beaten then by the constrictive gun. Lorna's wasn't to far away, her arm extended displacing control, her eyes already green were now more vibrant and she levitated maybe 2 inches off the ground, looking menacingly prestigious and most of all, dominant.  
  
"Nicely done Polaris, you managed to hold the victim captive without doing any real harm." Logan stood off to near distance, his arms crossed in examination.  
  
"But oh she's about to!!!!" Shrieked Sam again, really paranoid since she tore up the danger room again.  
  
"Release him." Logan commanded. And so Lorna dropped him only a few feet off the ground. He grunted and gave her a dirty look. Logan looked around at the danger room's current condition. The other students came in and were bewildered by the damage they saw. Lorna was unfazed by this  
  
"Good thing we saved you for last," He said, "I'll be right back" and headed to the control panel. The students were closing in on her direction. Bobby came over to her as the others crowed around Sam and it appeared that tension against her was brewing, and Bobby was wary of that.  
  
"Hey" he exhaled softly. Taking a stance in front of her.  
  
"Bitch" Jubilee glared up at Lorna. "That's right you heard me" Lorna was still unfazed by that.  
  
"Stop it Jubes." Bobby spoke immediate seriousness. But with Alex and Rahne backing her and Sam being a pussy about losing, it wasn't going to change much. Lorna seemed unsure of what was going doing before her, a challenge perhaps? That Bobby was trying to prevent for her safety. The more seconds that past the more she thought, the more she prepared herself, the more she became ready. To kick the shit out of Jubilee who had for no reason always given her the cold shoulder and remarks of hatred. For what, wanting to make friends with smiles and nice gestures? Lorna's blood began to boil. And Jubilee was fed up with Lorna's lacking of response.  
  
"We could never be friends," Jubilee said with a taunting smile, "we couldn't hang out or have late night talks, go shopping or paint each others nails." The crew behind her began to chuckle. "Doesn't that kill you?" [Needled 24/7 by Children of Bodom plays in the background]  
  
"No" Lorna's gut ached.  
  
"Well maybe this will." Jubilee stepped forward with charge and tossed a sparkler at Lorna, knocking her down. Lorna lay stunned, but not really harmed only a little sore. She caught her breath and Bobby knelt down beside her to help her up.  
  
"That was so FUCKING uncalled for!" he screamed at Jubilee.  
  
"Stay out of this Popsicle! You already have a girlfriend." Jubilee eyes were fixated on Lorna who seemed preoccupied. And she was. Mustering up enough strength and concentration, for a pay back.  
  
"What was that?" Havok said.  
  
A tremor was felt. It got everyone's attention, and they looked up to the ceiling and the control panel. Except Lorna, who knew what was going on. The metal floor around the assholes upturned and they all fell down (not into a hole, but among the rubble), and a random scrap of metal slashed Jubilee across her back. She screamed in pain and blood spurted out from where she was slashed. She fell to the ground making sounds of utter pain. Lorna stay frozen in the same place she had rose up to her feet from. She created a bloodbath.  
  
More people rushed in, but it was all a blur for Lorna. Screaming and panic and blame. Bobby shook her, but she only stood silent and not attentive. Snapping out of her shocked daze. To find Bobby holding by the arms, looking straight in her eyes, beaming. [Song is over. Special K by Placebo plays]  
  
"Oh god Lorna, they could kick you out for this, Lorna, answer me, please." She took in the moment. Bobby holding her, pleading for a response with more concern for herself rather than a supposed 'friend' who was cut open only minutes ago and now being rushed to the medical lab as Logan was getting the story from the assholes who witnessed it. Realizing the shit had hit the fan, and not wanting to leave and disappoint her aunt and uncle but not wanting to stay and be subject to serious harassment after attacking a quite popular student. And now, Bobby, she felt a friendship duty too. Tears began to well her eyes. She opens her mouth a bit to speak but can't, and her lips tremble. He pulls her closer to rest on his shoulder, and he kisses her on the forehead. Unseen to Bobby her eyes bulge, she gasps and cries silently. 


	8. Don't Relish In Fault

It was a sunny mid-day, the weather being the entire opposite of the mood. Tabitha in her casual slim jeans and sleeveless shirt was walking about the outdoors, and for once she actually wasn't wandering aimlessly. She approached Lorna, who was sitting on steps and huddled over with despair. She took a seat beside her. There was initial silence. Tabs inhaled.  
  
"I knew you'd snap." Were considered kind words coming from the lips of Tabs.  
  
Lorna didn't respond, it was as if she didn't even notice her.  
  
Tabs felt awkward. And considered just walking away, but what else did she have to do? Now her and Lorna were on more of the same level, first isolationists and now troublemakers. Of course Tabs merely had vandalized things, nothing close to a vicious assault. That was slightly intimidating for her, but she could read Lorna easy, and knew she wouldn't try it again so soon, no matter how much her buttons were pushed; Lorna was too broken.  
  
"Hey, wanna hop a bus? Get into the city." Suggested Tabs.  
  
Again Lorna wasn't responding. Tabs gave her a shove. Lorna looked up with a cold and confused look.  
  
"Sooo? What's it gonna be?" Tabs eyebrows raised. "Stay here, subject to abuse and the constant reminder of your 'error'. Or.. get out into a world that isn't this. You like humans, don't ya?" her mouth smirked. She wanted to go, but not alone, and Lorna was a perfect candidate.  
  
Silent Lorna looked at Tabs with thought in her mind. 'No, maybe, yes? Ah, what the hell.' She thought not so thoroughly. Her eyes looked down again, showing waiver, but then rose back up to Tabs. Lorna sighed and stood up. Tabs grinned and lead the way.  
  
* * *  
  
Tab's sharpie marker graffiti was potent in the thick air of the stuffy, but less crowed bus. Lorna just gazed out the window, she hadn't said much. A lot was on her mind and she began to put the pieces together. She'd lost it and screwed up, so badly. Nothing could erase or even smudge what she did, for it was like inoperable tumor. It wouldn't leave her. She thought of Bobby, always going back to moment in which so much overwhelmed her she couldn't move, no matter how much her brain strained itself to. And he held her. She felt apart, corroded instantly, and he was there to scrape up every tainted fragment. But she couldn't pin point the exact reason why. She denied his affections for her, and was looking too hard for a motive or logical reason. Nothing like, 'funny', 'smart', 'cute' or 'great personality'. No it had to be something else. Uh huh...  
  
Tabs was highly on the defense of boredom, and couldn't take that brooding and thoughtfully tragic look on Lorna's distant face anymore. And she'd already covered half the bus in marker. Did that ever get old fast.  
  
"I forgot, what did you say happened in the danger room 3 days ago?" Tabs had been eager to know the details, at least from Lorna's point of view. She spoke casually, so even if Lorna didn't want to talk about it, most likely she would slip and say something.  
  
"That is because I have not spoken of it." She responded with prestige.  
  
"Oh well EXCUSE me." Tabs shook her head. She layed back horizontally on the seat and put her feet up. Kicking back. She starts to look very smug, premeditating words to soon speak. Then the bus hits a pothole and she goes flying on the floor. Lorna is jumbled but smiles and exhales a laugh at how clumsy Tabs looked. Tabs seats her self back up with chagrin look on her face. "Ya know," Tabs began, and could see Lorna's eyes rolling in dread of this topic, but it was a big reason for Tabs to even spend time with her, "I don't blame you for chopping up Jubilee." She smiled and spoke lightly about such a heavy subject for Lorna. It pissed her off, the way Tabs said it, although her intention was to be calm, there wasn't much to please Lorna in a bad mood, in a bad predicament, and in an overall bad situation. The words she used, so lightly 'chopping up', oh goddamn Tabitha. "She had it coming to her." Tabs added, thinking this was supportive enough to initiate Lorna's talk of what really went down. "Jubilee really was a bitch-"before Tabs could even muster up more words Lorna intervened.  
  
"C'mon! Drop it. Just fucking drop it!" Lorna nearly screamed with a frustrated tremor, running her hands through her hair.  
  
"No fucking way." Tabs dauntingly leaned towards her. She had that smug look control on her face, the one that set off Lorna to the highest extremes.  
  
Lorna was cornered. She was on a bus, with nowhere to run or hide or any way to shut Tabs out. Her head droped in despair and she exhaled any hope of holding it in, hope that it'd fade it away and she wouldn't have to deal with it in herself. Dealing with it with other people was bad enough, just look at this scene. "What." A Plain and simple word, Lorna said with her head still down, and her hair cascading down like a green curly veil.  
  
Tabs grinned gleefully. She rubbed her hands together, pinched her lips inward and exhaled forcefully through her nose.  
  
"Okay," she said in preparation, "Why?"  
  
"She pushed me too far, it got out of hand. I shoulda just stayed on the ground." Lorna shook her head.  
  
"Stayed on the ground?" Tabs inquired.  
  
"In the danger room, we were doing combatant rundowns and restraint situations," Lorna sighed, "I had Cannonball 10 maybe 15 feet in the air. The gun wrapped around him like boa. That panzee was flipping a shit about it. I let him go when told to, and hoped it would be left at that. But he bitched and moaned to those fuckers."  
  
"Who?" Tabs eyes narrowed, absorbing the story.  
  
"Wolfsbane." Lorna thought back.  
  
"Barf!" Tabs interjected.  
  
"Havok."  
  
"Duddddee..." Tabs impersonated him.  
  
"And," Lorna paused and rolled her eyes, "Jubilee." She said that as it were a curse.  
  
"* cough * BITCH * cough * "  
  
Lorna laughed at Tabs' humorous take on those people, to the subject even for that matter. She just finally appreciated that Tabs didn't remind her of the weight of that issue upon her shoulders. Smiling in thought as Tabs waited more patiently than normally for the continuation of Lorna's side of the story. She began to think of how she got here. 'I'm on a bus ride with Tabitha, solely Tabitha; going into a city to hang out with Tabitha, solely Tabitha. What the hell am I thinking? I hate her, I can't stand her and why the fuck is she listening to me, why does she even bother to pretend to care.' Lorna thought and the smile faded. 


	9. Joy Diversion

"So, go on." Tabs' head bobbed as she chewed gum. She tossed the wrapper down and sent mini-bomb no larger than marble at it. POOF! And the wrapper was ash. She mused herself with that.  
  
"Why should I?" Lorna darted real attitude at Tabitha.  
  
Tabs chuckled softly, "And where else ya gonna go? What else are ya gonna do?" she said in a taunting manor that was eerie to Lorna for it resembled Jubilee's attitude. "Really now, what can be so important, that I can't know about it?" Her attitude diminished, and as did Lorna's, for Tabs had a point.  
  
"You don't care."  
  
"I don't"  
  
"So then why bother?"  
  
"Bee-cause." Tabs dragged the word out only to realize she had no reason. "I don't know." She said as if it were a legitimate reply.  
  
"Well than," Lorna exhaled, and gave up. What did she have to lose? She recalled back to where she left off. "They were all talking; All against me, except Bobby. And Jubilee, she." Lorna paused. She couldn't remember a damn word Jubilee had said, but the words still stung like an old wound. "She said some things, an I, it got me so pissed." She paused again, "She just threw everything in my face, like it was justified, the hurting of me." Lorna spoke passionately, like she was reliving the moment. Tabs just watched, entertained.  
  
But the bus stopped, halting Lorna's story further (what a relief for her) and city was theirs for the night. Or at least until the 11:30 p.m. bus came to pick them up.  
  
* * *  
  
Lorna and Tabs ran down lighted avenues and boulevards, racing past older pedestrians. They got ice cream but found it distasteful so they chucked it at cab. Wandering in and out of shops, Tabs managed to get a 5-finger discount on a few over priced trinkets. They came upon a crowed nightclub and got in line.  
  
"Oh that guy was so shit faced!" Tabs laughed out loud, and Lorna was bent in laughter as well. She was referring to a man they had passed, who made a drunken spectacle of himself; singing, walking with a swagger, and hitting on a street lamp.  
  
"'Oh madame' "Lorna mimicked the man's drunken slur. And held her arms out to mid air. Resuming normalcy, thought brewed in her, "Hey, my cousin and her friends sometimes come here."  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"Well..." Lorna grinned. Her hand was cupped by her mouth, and she made a motion of drinking.  
  
"Score some booze!?" Tabs' eyes gleamed wide in surprise. Lorna nodded.  
  
"Fucking awesome!" Tabs took Lorna shoulders and shook them. They would wait till 10, be outside the nightclub before Dana and her friends would get in.  
  
The line wasn't moving as fast as they wanted to speed on to fun times. They caught glimpse of a rather attractive group of older guys. The two girl's exchanged looks of 'appetite', and sealed with a grin, they got out of line and trailed those guys.  
  
They followed them into a coffee house, and quickly devised a plan to 'accidentally' bump into them. It worked despite they spilled low fat milk on one of the guys. They all got to talking and Tabs wound up on the lap of a guy named Frankie. While Lorna stayed in a flirtatious conversation with Travis. Somehow, things escaladed to walking out to they guys' car. Thus making out and heavy groping ensued. About 5 minutes into it, Lorna began to have second thoughts, was this even right? And an awkward feeling came all over, and instead of kissing back, she kind of layed back passive, but in thought.  
  
"You okay?" he whispered in her ear, but didn't wait for reply, and went back to kissing her neck. She winced her eyes and thought, 'A fucking hickey'.  
  
Tabs, who was all up on the front seat, got a little to into it with Frankie and leaned back on the steering wheel which sounded the horn. That started all four of them in the car. Everyone laughed except Lorna who only smiled with relief of that interruption. Now she could sit up, thoughts raced of how to avoid going back to making out. She looked at the time in the cars console. 9:52 p.m.  
  
"Hey uh Tabs, um." Tabs had already gone back to Frankie, ignoring people passing by looking with shook. "Its almost 10." She implied leaving. Travis put his arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulders. It felt good to have that attention, and that want. But Lorna was wary of how true that really was, and didn't see much to it. She'd just met him.  
  
"Aww, you're leaving?" Travis said still resting his head on her shoulders.  
  
"I thought you said, 11:30?" Frankie whined.  
  
"I did." Tabs glared at Lorna. 'She's not really gonna piss away my night, is she?' Tabitha feared Lorna would drag her down now.  
  
"Well, I just thought," Lorna paused to disguise what she was saying, "you might be...thirsty." Her eyes beamed, and hopefully Tabs would get the message without having the guys know.  
  
"OH YEAHHHH!!!" It had just hit Tabs; the plan to get drinks at 10. Lorna's eyes stared coldly and forcefully into Tabs' eyes. But she still didn't get the part about not informing the guys of their ulterior plans. "We gotta get some alcohol from her cousin and friends. Hell yeah." Tabs seemed real excited, but Lorna was ready to strangle her. She magnetized the metal part of Tabs belt, and clenched it tighter around Tabs' waist, to constrict her. "Uhmm, Lets go." She said kind of uncomfortably but was still unaware. So she opened the car door, and hoped out, Lorna slid out from Travis' embrace and hurried over to Tabs.  
  
"You fucking moron," Lorna whispered, "They're gonna follow us."  
  
"So."  
  
"Sorry, if I don't want to be intoxicated in the company of strangers, especially older men." Lorna strained her whisper.  
  
"Relax," Tabs grinned, "We're mutants, remember? That's like a one-up on anyone who tries to mess with us." Tabs said with confidence, but Lorna still wasn't at ease. Tabs leaned her arm on Lorna shoulder for comfort. Lorna looked the other way. She had it figured no matter what she said it was useless to make Tabs listen.  
  
Tabitha turned around to guys who were just starting to walk away from the car and to them. "Hey boys!" Tabs shouted and smiled with anticipation and Lorna dreaded what Tabs would say next. "Its past our bedtime." She cheered and waved good-bye. 


	10. On Sunday Morning Without a Warning

Then, Lorna was amazed, shocked even. That although, 'bedtime' was still far away, Tabs shook those guys off. Now, Lorna lay on a couch in the lounge of the mansion. Hung over and weary, in and out of consciousness, sleeping but knowing the sun was up.  
  
"Lorna what the hell?!" exclaimed an outraged Bobby.  
  
She was face down on the couch and pulled her hair more over her face to shield her eyes from the sun. She moaned a bit, feeling dizzy, and impaired to rise up and respond. Bobby was horrified. To him she resembled a crack whore; run down, groggy, and all dressed up but so tainted and lacking charm.  
  
"Where the hell were you?! What were you doing?" He knelt down beside the couch.  
  
Tabitha had been slouching in the recliner she passed out in, she was waking up to the noise she heard but slid to the floor and puked. Bobby gasped, and tried to ignore her.  
  
Staggering, Lorna rose to sit up, she swallowed hard to talk, but her mouth was so dry and her stomach felt like acid. Her face wrinkled for she felt like shit physically and ashamed of the state Bobby was seeing her in. She was practically in an eternal pitfall of shit. For those moments last night, she felt free and wanted, but this was the price she'd pay. And her in her mind, she felt angry that in order for her to feel any way of positive she must suffer a punishment. She tilted her head down in shame, but was rocking side to side for she lacked balance. With her head bent so far down, she found it hard to breathe but couldn't muster up an strength to get back up, she gagged and felt vomit in the back of her throat. Flinching, she held her mouth firmly closed.  
  
Bobby took her in his arms and layed her back down on the coach. She moaned for moving hurt like a bitch. He lifted her head gently and put a pillow underneath it for elevation. He saw the hickey on her neck, and he frowned. She coughed an exasperated cough, and fought to catch her breath after, he felt bad for her condition, but sour that she did it to herself. "I'll be right back." He said softly.  
  
She laid there in the silence, with the sun beaming in the room bright and her eyes were closed but still squinting. "Uhh."she sighed. "Fuhk mee." She murmured, cursing her own damn self and clumsily smacked her forehead. Her hand stayed there for a few seconds before lifelessly sliding off. She knew she looked like a fucking idiot and wanted it to all go by fast. Tabs, who was still on the floor next to her vomit, had puked again, loudly. Lorna glanced over but shut her eyes quickly for the sun that shone so was so bright. As if its personal feelings were to scold her with all the light it could. 'Oh shit man'.  
  
The minute and a half Bobby was gone felt like an hour to Lorna. He came back and started talking, but it was too fast for Lorna to comprehend. He picked her, arm over his shoulder, and nearly dragged her to her dorm. "Please don't throw up." He said on more than one occasion as he hurried her along the hallways, trying to avoid running into anyone. And each time she responded with a heartfelt nod, and swallowed the vomit that crept upon her tongue.  
  
* * *  
  
Lorna shared a room with Rogue and as Bobby approached the door, Rogue opened it and looked out down the hallway.  
  
"Its all clear." She said. And closed the door quickly and silently. "Now how'd this happen?" she asked quite surprised. Bobby layed Lorna on her own bed, and scanned around for a trash can.  
  
Still scanning, "I don't know, I wasn't there!" He wined, frustrated he couldn't find a trashcan.  
  
"Okay." Rogue rolled her eyes at his irritable behavior, that wasn't like him, but she'd let it go. "You looking for the garbage?" she said, her southern accent was more apparent.  
  
"Yes." He said with an irritated tone. Looked at her who was pointing to one behind him. He relocated to the side of Lorna's bed. Leaning over her, he brushed her hair away from her face. Didn't want to get any vomit on those pretty green locks of hers. He looked at her, his eyes softening about how venerable and helpless she was now.  
  
Then he realized Rogue was watching this with a peculiar eye. He turned back to her and thought of something quick to say. "She needs water." Rogue nodded slowly, and hesitantly went to go get it. She slowly closed to door behind and when it was shut Bobby ran his hand through Lorna hair.  
  
Lorna groaned coming more into a consciousness. The room was dimmer than the lounge and she could open her eyes and see Bobby's gentle expression beaming down on her. They stayed eye locked. Millions of thoughts racing in each others' heads.  
  
Bobby kept thinking, it was the perfect moment. Perfect enough to kiss her, like he always wanted to kiss a girl. She was so beautiful in being fragile. Like a wounded bird, needing car to mend it's wing. Lorna stayed paralyzed in the thought that he would kiss her, unsure if that was good or bad, she hoped she wouldn't vomit on him for that's what her body ached to do and couldn't hold out much longer.  
  
His eyes shifted back and forth as he leaned in, Lorna's gut ached. Bobby was still leaning in as she sharply turned her head and tipped it down to puke in the trashcan. Nice Lorna, nice. 


	11. Mindlessly Self Indulgent

"You little shit!" Lorna awoke to a feminine scowl. Her stomach felt better and only her head ached a bit. What time was it? She rolled over to look at the clock beside her bed. Six-forty p.m. and Lorna flinched as Tabitha in a flash of fury, smacked the alarm clock off the table. What the hell was going on?  
  
Lorna's eyes bulged in surprise as Tabs' scrawny hands wrapped around her neck. Her legs started kick and she squirmed a bit but had a better idea. She magnetized Rogue's thermo-mug and sent it flying at Tabs' cranium. Tabs lost her grip and feel on her ass to the floor. "Oww." She groaned.  
  
Lorna sighed heavily. She magnetized the door by its knob and opened it wide. "What the fuck's wrong with you?!" She sat up and had screeched through that exclamation. "You know what? Nevermind. Get the hell out. Approach me later with a not so violent attitude." She said almost calmly. She had just woken up and didn't have much energy. And plummeted back down lying on her back.  
  
Tabs left grumbling stuff like "I'll get you later." Lorna didn't care to understand. There were so many thoughts. And waking up so late in the day left her feeling so odd in addition to those thoughts.  
  
Lorna took a deep breath and traced her thoughts back to last night. Making out with a guy she's just met, she shivered and felt dirty about it. There was the feeling of security with Tabs as she got rid of Frankie and Travis. Next in her mind would be what got her in the condition of sleeping through today, meeting up with Dana, Will, and Jeff. They sneaked Tabs and Lorna into the club and funded for a vast amount of drinks. Will drove them home around 1, they couldn't make it to far into the mansion, I mean the stairs were quite challenge. They found the lounge the nearest play to relax. And passed out there.  
  
That whole night was an escape, but the return to reality plainly fucking sucked. Lorna sat up in bed. She dug her hands into her greasy hair, ran them along her scalp, combing through the green curly strands mindlessly self indulgent in thoughts and delusions.  
  
Then came to mind how stupid she must've looked to Bobby. She tried to block out any memory of being hung over so she could move on. She was too weary in thought. He would most definitely turn his back on her now, now that she was at rock bottom. And a new thought rose in her. 'Ya know what. Fuck 'em if he's just going to ditch me.' He sense of value returned. 'I did what I did, and there's no going back. I have no use for regrets' she exhaled in relief of conquering her inner demons, for now. 'Now what about Tabs?' She hopped out of bed, revived, and headed to the closet for clean clothes.  
  
"You fucking ditched me, that's what!" Tabs exclaimed. Lorna and her were engaging in a viciously loud conversation, more or less an argument in less crowed hallway.  
  
"No! I didn't know!" Lorna exclaimed in return.  
  
"Yes you fucking did! You and your god damn fuck buddy!"  
  
"I. Did. Not. Leave. You."  
  
Tabs' face was hard and cold, hurt by everything she knew. And this was no different. "I should fucking rat you out."  
  
"You wouldn't." Lorna's eye bulged, like she already wasn't being half shoved out the door.  
  
"I would."  
  
"Look, I was totally out of it. Bobby took me to my room. Of course he left you, what do you expect? You guys aren't the best of friends. Go pick a fight with him" Lorna tossed some attitude to that salad and under her breath said, "Not like it's going to do anything."  
  
Tabs looked the other way. Frustrated that she couldn't get through to tabs, 'I should've known' Lorna shook her head a walked ferociously away. Her new mantra, 'Fuck you, I'm walking away.' Now she really was alone, if Tabs wouldn't reconcile with her, she became more doubtful in how Bobby would react to her, and thought to be less than good or fixable.  
  
It was another Sunday night, another feeling of loss and loneliness. She began to really consider leaving. Nothing good was coming out of this. She wandered, looking for Bobby. 'Might as well get it over with' so she could make a decision to stay or to go.  
  
After many minutes and heavy sighing, she thought about how disappointed her aunt and uncle would be to see that she quit. To loss their pride in her, on top of all this, her thoughts shifted back to staying. She retired to the kitchen. It was desolate minus one person at the fridge. Lorna couldn't identify them at first, for the fridge door blocked sight. Lorna took a seat on the stool and cracked her knuckles. The door closed and revealed who was behind it. Tabs.  
  
She was mixing a drink. Orange juice and something else, some bottle in a brown paper bag. She poured in a large plastic cup, then some orange juice. She drank as Lorna watched her. Nothing had been said. Pulling the cup away from her lips, she made eye contact with Lorna. And held the cup out for Lorna to take. "Care to reconcile?" She said. How strange and fascinating.  
  
Keeping a straight face, "Yeah." And Lorna took a swig. 'Alcohol' she thought and hid her sour expression from tabs. After that hang over she didn't want to touch the stuff for a while, but the intoxication was alluring and regardless, she swallowed more and placed the cup on the counter with a satisfied smile, also hiding the burn she felt as it laced her throat.  
  
Before either of them could say anything Bobby was heard walking outside the kitchen, talking to some one. Lorna and Tabs were attentive in ease- dropping. "Man you better dump her soon. She's already suspicious of your feelings for the broccoli." Bobby communicating partner said. Both Tabs' and Lorna's eyes raised sky high. Broccoli was an obvious code name for Lorna. Since almost everything on her, hair, nails, lips, eyes, was green.  
  
"I know, it's hard to end things ya know?" Bobby replied, and the door opened, he entered. Since Bobby was unaware that Tabitha and Lorna were in the kitchen, and he stopped dead in his tracts when he noticed them, he inhaled and resumed walking, playing off the fact that they most likely heard his conversation. Tabs uselessly shot him dirty looks, but he didn't pay any attention to her. His friend headed to the fridge for drinks.  
  
"Hey," Bobby smiled warmly Lorna. [Funeral of Hearts by HIM plays]  
  
Lorna smiled in return, the relief she felt that he hadn't abandoned her after all that was too much for words. They stayed locked on that warm glance for sometime. She inhaled and emotionally fell into the endless icy, but gentle blue of his eyes. 'He's not done with me. After all that, wow.' Gazing in, falling deeper and deeper, becoming speechless in her mind her lips began to tremble. [End of song]  
  
Tabs had been observing their warm exchanges, and it fueled a fire inside her. A pyro-kinetic cluster grew in her hand. How dare he walk in here like that? Taking away her time with Lorna. 'That pretentious snob, the scum of the earth', her thoughts empowered for an assault. Her arm was down, behind her back. The tiny cluster rolled down from her palm to her thumb, and tucked her index finger behind it.  
  
Without another wasted moment of thought, she swung her arm up, underhand. He saw the arm rise, and the glow out of the corner of his eye. Without any halt Tabs flicked the cluster towards the side of Bobby's head. It all happened so fast he had no time to physically react. Only in his mind, a jolt of defensive reflex sparked. The cluster froze in mid air, fell and shattered to the floor. He strongly blinked and caught his breath. A close one indeed.  
  
Lorna's eyes narrowed viciously like knives at Tabitha. Her mouth was agape with astonishment and anger. What the hell? Too many things to say and yet no words came out.  
  
Bobby's friend was only wide-eyed and smirked at the awkwardness. No sense of seriousness, for he was a very detached to this circumstance.  
  
Frustration built up in Lorna, unable to react with words, she grunted and stormed out. Bobby watched helplessly, and after a few moments of that, ran after her.  
  
Bobby's friend remained. He gave Tabs a creepy grin, and appalled, Tabs left in the opposite direction that Lorna and Bobby went. 


	12. I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy

A rather stressed Mistress of Magnetism was walking down a hallway. Study groups were in few classrooms, she peered in one to look at a wall clock. 7:46. The sun's last setting glow gave the room and its inhabitants and eerie appearance. Ororo Monroe looked up at Lorna from the paper she was working on with a student.

A girl, looking about 12 or 13 who was getting help from Ms. Monroe (Storm) sharply darted her head around. Her face had soured instantly.

"Can I help you Lorna? I heard you weren't feeling well, I could go over today's lesson with you if you give me 15 minutes?" She offered, but Lorna could tell her pleasant behavior was masking how pissed she must be that Lorna didn't go to class, it appeared quite bluntly that Lorna had cut, and an explanation would be due later.

The girl's mouth dropped, she turned her head back to Ms. Monroe who was still paying attention to Lorna. The girl darted her head at Lorna once again, opened her mouth and let out a ear piercing scream at Lorna. It was evident this girl was Siryn. Most of the younger kids were just as temperamental, and with the story of how Lorna attacked Jubilee (exaggerated to Jubilee's standards), Lorna was quite the villain. At first Lorna didn't care, after all it was Jubilee who was bed ridden. But now it was only getting harder to stay here.

The very second the outburst was heard, Lorna covered her ears and ducked behind the near by desk (to blockade the sound). The desk had just started to rumble when the scream was silenced. Lorna rose up from behind the desk, Storm had cupped her hand over Siryn's mouth.

Bobby showed up in the doorway, his eyebrows narrowed and his eyes were wide with bewilderment. Siryn turned to Storm who had a scolding look on her face.

"I'm sorry Lorna, I'll deal with this." She would whisper a lecture to Siryn, but Lorna just turned to Bobby and rolled her eyes at what had just happened.

"I just wanted the time." Lorna spoke quietly and winced a smile, pointing at the clock, and began to exit. He followed her out.

As she started of her path in the hall, she turned her head around to Bobby who was following her closely.

"Don't you have some where to be?" she continued walking, he joined her at her side, his arm brushing up against her every other second.

"Not _exactly_." He grinned a flirtatious smile at her. She pretended not to notice, and her insides quaked anxiety. "Besides, I really wanted to clear things up with you." He seemed serious, she felt relived. Expecting him to explain how he already has a girlfriend, and cares for her a lot, and that it wouldn't work between them. Yep, Lorna was prepared and just about hoping for it to go like that.

Ah, the weight room, vacant to Bobby's satisfaction. What he had to express to her was better done in privacy, he thought. He took her hand to lead her in.

'Oh my, oh man, ohhhh, what, um' Lorna's heart raced and guts ached with even more anxiety, she told her self, 'he's just trying to be nice, let me down gently, yeah, oh boy'.

They sat down on bench. He didn't let go of her hand and that made her worried. And he was so close she could smell the peppermint on his breath. Some great foreshadow came over it that made her so nervous, anxious, and semi-repulsed. She shivered.

"I'm sorry you overheard what I was saying. It was wrong, and totally out of character for me." The relief in Lorna began to kick in, but to Bobby this was an introduction.

"Yeah. Its ok, I totally completely understand. And its all good, and, uh, just good." She lost track her words, when she saw his confused facial expression. But then again, she had been babbling.

"Oh-kay." Bobby scratched his head. Genuinely confused, but carried on with it.

"I don't know what I've been doing these past months, ever since you came into my life. You shook a lot of dormant things about me, a lot of life. But there's gotta be more to it than just that, right?" He beamed at her with sincerity. She nodded. Although she wasn't in complete understanding, taking each sentence as his gentle way of letting her know, him plus her equals never. She wished he wouldn't draw it out, but mused he how nice he was. Complexities and deeply suppressed emotions were out of her mind for now.

"Look, I know what you're trying to say, and its fine with me." She friendly gestured her hand to rest on his shoulder. Bobby and her were better off as friends, friends, friends; she pulsed through her brain.

"Really?" he beamed with sincerity again, surprised, and looking just as relieved as her. Her hand was still on his shoulder.

She nodded, and he leaned in too quickly for her to react. His lips pressed to hers, her eyes bulged and her heart jumped. Her body froze; only her lips kissed back, then open mouth, and tongues caressing. Every thought out of her mind, she reacted only on instinct. Her body defrosted and she casually slid her other arm around his neck (both around him now) and pressed herself closer to him, as he responded with his hands wrapped around her waist. Intimate kissing. Actual physical contact, he could never have with Rogue. He felt he could die so happy in this moment.


	13. The Darkest Secrets of Your Heart

"I'll only believe it when I see it." Rogue insisted. She proceeded with making her bed. Tabs stood in the doorway, slightly annoyed Rogue was fish who wasn't biting.  
  
"Well your in luck." Tabs' face was smug with a vengeance. Only being what she considered to be pleasant to Rogue. She could barf at that, but this was for a greater cause. Catching that happy go lucky infidel. And raining on everyone's parade. Tabs had a hunch, that since Bobby had followed Lorna, they must in some what of a compromising circumstance, hand-holding or something of that sort. She taxed her brain for a list of possible places for Lorna to go, and that bastard lapdog to follow. Tabs glared at her reflection in the mirror, but her face brightened with an idea.  
  
Coming up for breather, Lorna gently opened her eyes to gaze at nothing but Bobby. But something, rather, someone caught her eye. She froze again, and leaned to back away, but a tremor shook through her in anxiety, she squeaked and fell off the bench quite clumsily. Bobby stared at her in dismay.  
  
Rogue stood in the doorway horrified, she had seen more than necessary to believe the acidic words of Tabs. And they had initially tingled on the surface, they now burned holes of void and pain through her. He would feel that pain.  
  
Before anyone knew what hit them, except Tabs who was watching from safe distance in the hall, Rogue had her un-gloved hand on the back of Bobby's neck. Her eyes cold, digging her nails in, as every vein in his body became visible, he gasped for air and then fell life-less. Lorna sat paralyzed, to slow to react, to slow to save Bobby. By the time she had gotten up, it was him on the ground.  
  
Everything hit Rogue all at once. Every feeling he felt for Lorna, every desire, every nasty thought in his mind about her, and even gentle musing he kept in his memories, all were unleashed and corroded the love she held in her heart for him instantaneously. Her cold eyes melted with tears.  
  
"That's more than I needed to know." She spoke in an audible whisper, her voice being choked and strained by the hurt. Lorna's mouth moved but no words came out. Once again, speechless. In addition to everything overwhelming she began to ponder its own overwhelming-ness. God damnit.  
  
Rogue walked out, and Lorna couldn't even look at her, she knelt beside Bobby and saw he was breathing, then turned away to look at the ground. The thin carpet the irritated her bare knees. She felt a rug burn coming on. 'Could I be allergic to carpeting?' She sat solemn, with no direction or idea what to do. Every thought in her mind was battling for focus.  
  
Having all the action ceased, Tabs got bored and quietly departed, as if she wasn't there at all. Lorna's eyes raised to where she heard foot steps, but they only were getting farther away. She rolls her eyes and winced. 


	14. Burn the Sorrow from Your Eyes

(Blue and Yellow by The Used plays on the radio)

"And it's all in how you mix the two  
And it starts just where the light exists  
It's a feeling that you cannot miss  
And it burns a hole  
Through everyone that feels it"

Lorna sat curled up on her bed. A stack of compiled notebooks and make up work was shoved to corner. She stared at her cell phone on the night stand, plugged in the charger. The phone. The simple phone, and a simple phone call, and she could back. Back before being hated, before being violent, before being a home wrecker, before being a troublemaker with the likes of Tabs, go back before she really felt like a mutant.

On the other hand the return home wouldn't be easy. The registration riots were erupting all over. It wouldn't be the same. She couldn't blend in with the chosen freaks with dyed hair and body piercings anymore , she would be seen as mutant. And a failure. Prep school drop-out. Her Aunt and Uncle would die of a disappointment, and most of all wouldn't understand her having any conflict with people. How did their 'sweet Lorna' get to be so tattered and tainted?

'Home is none existent. I'm supposed to fit in here.' She felt the first craving for acceptance she had in the past month. Totally screwing over your roommate, slashing miss popular, and hanging out with the school hemorrhoid (Tabs), fitting in was not an option. With that in mind, she grabbed the phone. She dialed. And halted right before pressing send.

Her eyes gripped the screen with the 10 digit number. The blue light faded.

The door to the room opened, Rogue came in, Lorna pretended to not to notice, pretended to focus on her phone. She pressed clear and dialed the number again, more slowly. She listened to Rogue's movements and absorbed what she saw out of the corner of her eye. Rogue fumbling through a purse or bag. Nothing was being said and Lorna expected her to leave soon, in fact she awaited it anxiously. She licked her lips, and didn't hear any more movement from Rogue. She flashed her eyes in her direction. 'Oh shit. She's staring right at meeee' Lorna's insides contracted and heart was beating so fast she could feel it in her throat. 'Go away, please go' she felt a spasm coming on.

Lorna looked over once again. This time with eye contact. She gave her a questioning look. Rogue immediately snapped in speech, which made Lorna's heart jump.

"Wow. You don't even have the decency to give me a proper apology." Her southern accent was so vivid that Lorna would giggle under any other circumstances.

Lorna did feel like apologizing. But thrown into this she felt threatened and defensive. "Apologize for what?" she was half stunned she had the nerve to say that.

Rogue's eye's bulged out of their sockets. Her mouth hung open.

"You're a SLUT!"

That being the first time anyone's ever directed that insult at her, she snapped right back. "You want ME to apologize?! Apologize for what? Because your boyfriend wanted me, oh I'm sorry, but it's not like he can touch you." Lorna raised her voice and spoke with bitter sarcasm. She became so engrossed in energy that sub-consciously her spheres (that'd she practice levitating daily) in the corner of the room rose up and orbited one another. "How's that for an apology." Her eyes glowed mildly.

Rogue caught sight of that, and immediately her tone changed. It was more serious than offensive now. "I'm sorry." She nodded, like she had to shake that out of her.

"me too." Lorna's voice was weak. The spheres fell back to the ground. It was silent and Lorna looked away.

With that persistence of silence Lorna rose up and headed for the door. Prior to exiting she turned back, and magnetized her cell phone into her hand. And closed the door behind her.

So they weren't exactly shoving her out the door just yet. She felt relieved that and least the administration wasn't cracking down on her, or told her aunt and uncle the trouble she got into. She was wandering again, stopping in the lounge, regardless of their being a few people in there, she didn't take notice who it was. She sat down in rocking chair and began to text her cousin, Dana.

Another weekend was coming up, and she didn't want to be around, rumors circulated of yesterday, and naturally they weren't in her favor. But, assault on another mutant on Rogue's part didn't make her look so innocent either. In fact Lorna was seen more as an accessory.

None the less, she sent a text to Dana. 'Friday. 6:30. Dont B L8'

Lorna got up and exited the lounge, she'd get better service elsewhere anyway. She glanced that phone from time to time, hoping for a reply. Making her way to the elevator now. She looked up from her phone, pressed the elevator button, and pocketed it while entering. She had pressed 'M' inside the elevator, to take her to the medical lab.

She inhaled, and said out loud. "I hate Tuesdays". Diner would be served in the hall in 30 min. She kept thinking of all the places she had to go through this week. 'Breakfast, Lunch, Diner, History, Chemistry. Chem with Bobby. But he wouldn't be in their for another few days. English, Latin, History, Auto-mechanics, and Photography.

It's my last quarter of the school year. Woo haa. I didn't even think about until now.

I wonder if Bobby's even awake yet. Oh god, if something went wrong, it'd all be because of me. Shit. NO. Stop blaming yourself. Fuck, it's habit rooted to deep'. Her face pouted, and the elevator stopped. She walked out timidly, most people don't belong down her unless they were getting medical treatment or some other worthy purpose. She just had to see Bobby. She hadn't since he collapsed.

She wandered down the chrome and white, and very cleanly looking hallway, peering in the spotless glass walls that weren't blocked off by curtains, and in the open doors, it had cross between, computer lab and hospital feel in this wing.

She nosily peered in another door. It was _him_. He didn't look too good. But when she took and step in, his eyes opened and he slowly sat up to look at her.

"Its about time I got some company." He smiled like nothing at all. With that she couldn't resist to smile back.

She was hesitant in getting to close, so she stood beside his bed. An arms' length away.

"You mean, no one's come down here yet?" she questioned. He had too many friends.

"Well, no one that _really_ mattered." He grinned at her. She blushed. She hadn't planned to stay long, but apparently that's what he had hoped for. "So how's the Productive Punishment going?" he always asked her that since the incident with Jubilee. Productive Punishment was like community service. You help clean up things around the institute, or serve food in the hall. Which she had to do today. She liked it better actual laboring work, and she could sit in the kitchen, a closed area and eat alone, without looking alone. That privacy was a plus.

"Washing Dishes today I believe." She nodded with her thumb and index finer around her chin. She looked of in the distance regally. " I like to give back to people."

They laughed together and it got quiet. He grabbed her wrist, and stared intently into her eyes. With his other hand, he gently ran the back of his fingers along her cheek. They leaned into kiss, and as their lips touched and pressed, Dr. McCoy came in.

"Ahem." He didn't hesitate. They both pulled away instantly. Feeling embarrassed, Lorna excused herself to Dining Hall Duty.

Her hand submerged in a sink full of water and soap suds, she thought about how strange she felt towards Bobby. Now that it was more apparent he wanted to be with her, and it was more realistic for them to be together. It's what she wanted, but couldn't understand why she felt so weird, like half of her just wanted it to be left alone. As in he was still with Rogue or never had dated her to begin with. This was a whole new thing to get used to. But in her heart she questioned every feeling, would this awkwardness that was under her skin go away, or is it a genuine feeling? That they weren't meant to be.

She day dreamed of hand holding, a simple walks outside on a nice day, of big smiles and blowing kisses whenever there was distance between them. Of lounging in the lounge. On their backs; Resting in his arms; Him laying on her as she ran her fingers through his frosted hair. Seeing a tiny portrait of her self in his baby blues. All those sweet things, and un-monumental moments they could share.

"Where's the food?" Tabs barged in the kitchen, Lorna halted in her washing of Teflon pots and pans. Shook of her hand and dried them with a towel. She was so done with Tabs, and was more than ready to tell her off.

"Its past the dinner hour. Too late, you don't eat." She said smugly.

"What? Why not?"

"Uh..I just told you." Lorna said with irritation. She was leaning against the counter, seemed as if she was waiting on Tabs.

"Yeah. So. C'mon hook me up." Tabs flailed her arms, getting agitated. "What? Are you standing on ceremony, c'mon get me food."

"No, I'm not getting you anything."

"And why the hell is that?!" Tabs snapped. Seriously she had half forgotten she led Rogue to catch Lorna and Bobby, but wasn't aware that Lorna had a hunch it was her.

"I'm not your friend. You were right; you proved it to me. Friendship does count for shit." She referred to the conversation they had in the bushes a while ago.

Tabs was stunned. It wasn't supposed to work out like this. Her insides trembled, and her face pouted. Lorna was supposed to be hated by Rogue and Bobby in addition to everyone else, and come to her, be each others' only friend. Cause no else can be trusted. Lorna was a pure soul, one tabs wanted to rely on by her side. Tabs just goes about everything the wrong and selfish way. Tisk Tisk.

"Whatever." Tabs said nonchalantly. Turned around and flicked and pyro-cluster in Lorna direction. Lorna's eye's widen and she dodged out of it way, it exploded and sent various kitchen debris (cleaning solution bottles, pots and pans and utensils) flying. A mess for Lorna to clean up. But she was rather fed up.

"Hey, Tabitha!" she barked after the departing Tabs, and through her apron down defiantly for Tabs to see. Tabs face was blank, Lorna's eye's had subtly glowed a little greener. With her hand behind her back, A cluster grew in Tabs right hand. Lorna could see the faint glow. It was on.


	15. Epic BaAttle

((Epic Battle my Ass))

Tying her hair back, Lorna sent a large (metal) saucepan flying into Tabs' abdomen. Knocking her down, and the cluster flew up in the air aimlessly and back down, she squirmed out of the way. It gave Lorna ample enough time to get close enough firmly place her boots on Tabs' wrists.

"Ye-ow!" Tabs scowled. Lorna felt satisfied that she had ended this confrontation, not only the victor, but with a little damage done.

"What's going on here?" Summer's popped in. He had this good guy charm that made most girls swoon, but Lorna yack; Tabs too. And Lorna had thought she's done so well with evasion of damage let alone trouble. Almost in sync they had rolled their eyes. They were REALLY going to get it. When it came to stepping out of line, not even the professor cracked down like him. In fact, Prof. Xavier was quite lenient. After all that happened with Lorna, she was _still _here.

Almost immediately that Scott Summer's presence was known, Lorna released Tabs, allowing her time to spring up, like it wasn't a brawl. And it truth, it wasn't. At least not compared to prior events. Although, the kitchen utilities in disarray spoke other wise.

"Cliché question, cliché answer." Lorna spoke to the ground.

"Nothing." Tabs had overlapped, in timing and in sound what Lorna said (Tabs used her deeper voice to show disrespect to authority).

"A ha." He gave them a 'you-did-it-to-yourselves' look. And being teenagers, it was in their primal nature to not accept responsibility (on most occasions) and to be bitter when confronted/corrected with punishment for wrong doings. Lorna and Tabs. Unified in sighs and smug, sour faces. Tabs liked it better that way.

They had forgotten the bomb clusters. It turns out they hadn't fully dissipated, and made harmless but noisy sparks on the ground. Summers' starred them down, while they looked the other way.

"Come with me." He said. 'Rotten do-gooder!' Lorna exclaimed in her own mind as they were lead down corridor after corridor. After awhile she had no idea where he was leading them.

Lorna nonchalantly glanced over at Tabs, who caught her. Tabs snickered. 'Bitch' Lorna thought, and pitied that damned girl.


End file.
